I don’t understand how everyone can see it but you.

To make it all worse I’m the one who has to listen to them all day talking about it so no matter how much I want you out of my head, I can’t, because everyone seems to have a different opinion on how to get me into your heart. 

Can’t you just get the fuck over your ex, get out of your bubble, stop focusing 100% on your career or what ever it is that is holding you back? Because the fact that you’re the one who makes the effort to talk to me all day, makes me laugh when i’m about to start killing people, or drops the little hints, is torturing me and apparently, even if i wanted to, I’m not allowed to give up on you.

You make me want to be better, before the partying and the drinking and giving up on school, and the food. I get butterflies when I know I’m about to see you, or when I wake up and see your name on my phone’s screen. You are one of the only people that when I offer to help out, you say no and don’t take advantage of my kindness. 

So where do I go from here? I could wait the 7 years until our promised time that if we both aren’t married then we would marry each other. I could give up and yell at everyone to shut the fuck up and stop getting my hopes up. I could just be your friend and help you find the girl of your dreams. Or I could fight for you and try and open your eyes so you can see what apparently everyone else sees when they look at us together. 

I don’t think i’m ready to give up just yet; I may look pathetic and desperate, but I’m not one to give up on something that I want, something that feels completely right, until I’ve done everything there is. 

To my heart, get ready because you are about to become very vulnerable again. And to you, get ready because you are about to become acquainted with the best version of me.